I HATE........

I hate. I hate.

I hate being woken up by a slap.

I hate going job hunting in rains.

I hate 28 year old guys masturbating in public loos because their wife is in village.

I hate rickshaw drivers who refuse to use their meters.

I hate people spitting in the middle of the road from a vehicle.

I hate girls acting as if every guy who looks at them is about to try and fuck them.

I hate people who need and deserve a job more than I do.

I hate news channels.

I hate waiting for the phone to ring.

I hate people playing loud music.

I hate people who don't let me play loud music.

I hate sending CV to corporate pricks.

I hate school kids using mobiles, smoking cigarettes, driving cars.

I hate people telling me I am not right for the job. More than that I hate people telling me I am way better than what I actually do.

I hate the fact that I don't hate anything enough; enough to do something about it.

I hate not being there. I hate not being needed there.

Purpose of existence

I deny the existence of a greater power or of all of us being part of one; superior and greater; plan. And my simple reason is lack of possibility of choice. Something that puts actions as outcomes of a predefined pathway is something that resultantly makes actions meaningless. And they may have a meaning in the realm of supernatural, but are worthless then for the instruments viz. Us. That is the kind of plan, (called Destiny) which would dare put Hitler, Gandhi, Buddha, Stalin, Qin rulers under the same dome of construct. Their endeavors and radical directions of thoughts seem not only pointless but also funny if they were not out of their self sufficient eccentricity.

This is just the tip of the thought.. I will elaborate on it (later than sooner owing to my laziness)..

Colourblind

I tore my mask in a small bar fight

Glasses broken and waning sight

Under the bridge, At the heart of sun

In my pocket Who slipped a gun?

I see some blood ,it sure ain’t mine

Constant drift of colours divine.

Welcome strangers, I try to smile

On the other side of the daring vile.

Missing chapters from my dreams

Wicked laughs and muffled screams

Forgot to pay for the evening anew

Red and yellow and fading blue.

Brew a cup of mystery tales

Run through piles of yearly sales.

Lonely girls and broken boys

Shoplifted the worn out toys.

In the royal blue, I drown and drown

Singing jazz for the sleeping town.

LONELINESS

Loneliness is a funny thing. I was always scared of being alone. I guess most people in some or the other ways are. It is a constant need to try and connect to other people, even for those who consider themselves sociopaths. One joins social networks, wears a particular t-shirt, gets a haircut done, listens to/ pretends to listen to some music, watches news. All for one fucking purpose. To try and demand and provide the human approval in its most subtle form. It is called Society.

And then I realized that human existence, not as the outcome of natural evolution but as an outcome of social evolution is a trained, manipulated, prolonged reflex action. One is born with only instincts. But to take those instincts, to put them in different permutations, to modify them, to twist them, to even deny them when found uncomfortable is what society does. And unfortunately this ‘society’ does not a have a face. Like any fucked up idol worshipping religion, these notions, these ‘rules’ have been passed on from one generation to next by mere conditioning. Everybody knows it is a lie. Nobody is ‘SUPPOSED” to be good. Everybody feels the obvious need for power, authority, physical pleasure. But society provides a brilliant mask so that people may deny it. The conditioning tells them that even if they feel it, they must not act upon it for the sake of others.